Love and Discipline

(5-16-2012)

"If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us." ~ 1 John 4:15-19 

As Maddie's mom, sometimes I feel like a failure. Why is that you may ask? Let me tell you why.


As a mother of a toddler, most days are awesome. Full of fun, love, giggles, kisses, etc. But other days, well, those days I would like to forget. You know what I'm talking about. The days where every little thing is a battle from getting dressed to going potty to eating. Everything. And when days start off like this, you know it's going to be a LONG day.


Well, we had one of those "long" days on Monday. For the most part, I think I handled it well, but afterward, I'm always thinking back and asking myself questions like, "Was I too hard on her?" "Should I have cut her some slack?" "Did I show her enough love?" "Did she learn anything productive from the way I handled things?" "Does she hate me?"


Of course I realize that Satan uses this line of attack to get under our skin, BUT I do think some of these questions are legitimate. Based on what we read in 1 John 4:15-19, we know that if we believe in Jesus, then we know the love of God and are to rely on it. And since we have the love of God, then we are to have no fear because "perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment." In other words, our love and obedience in Him should not be based on the fear of judgement or punishment, but rather because His love has made us complete and has been perfected in us.


You see, God's love for us is an agape (unconditional) love, meaning that nothing we do can separate us from His love. And because He shows us this kind of love, we, in turn, are told to "love [our] neighbor[s] as [ourselves]" (Matthew 22:39). And if we are supposed to love our neighbor as ourselves, shouldn't we show the ones we're closest to this same kind of love, even in the hard times?


So, you can probably see where I am going with this. I am a sinner. I have been forgiven and I have the love of Christ, but I still fail...even at loving my own family. Sometimes I overreact. Sometimes I'm quick to judge. Sometimes I'm selfish. Sometimes I simply don't get it. But I can rest assured that because Christ loves me, He will continue to work in me to perfect my love, so I can in turn show others His love.

I have no idea if this makes sense to anyone else, or if it just seems like pointless ramblings, but for me it's a lesson I don't take lightly. And when I am faced with challenges like the "horrible no good very bad" Monday that we had, I am thankful that God uses them as teaching moments. Oh, and that my daughter doesn't really hate me...least not yet :)